I don’t want to go back to New Zealand.

Erin Keam
2 min readSep 27, 2020
Photo by Kyle Myburgh on Unsplash

Depending on what happens in November, a worried family member has suggested I move back to New Zealand.

I don’t want to go.

Now, this is New Zealand we’re talking about. NEW ZEALAND.

Jacinda Ardern’s New Zealand. The Jacinda who is up for a Nobel Peace Prize.

A country where the citizens are joking that they will auction off their Prime Minister to other countries to pay for a national trade deficit.

One of the most beautiful countries in the world New Zealand.

“Lord of the Rings” New Zealand. Land of the Long White Cloud New Zealand. Aotearoa. Cicadas in summer, hokey pokey ice cream. Jandals and kiwifruit and pavlova (yes, we invented it, not the bloody Aussies). Fiords, beaches, mountains, lakes, fish and chips and better coffee than Seattle. The flat white was ours first.

I don’t want to go.

America is in turmoil right now. There’s so much to write about this. I’m a Kiwi. I wasn’t born here, I didn’t grow up here. I’m not black, I’m not a woman of color. I’m horrified. I’m educating myself, I’m asking others about their experiences.

As I write this, California’s on fire. I’m looking out my window, I can’t see the other side of the street due to the smog.

I still don’t want to go.

I believe America is in the process of giving birth. I’ve been told that labor is one of the most excruciating experiences, but a miracle occurs and a new life is created.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg at 87, died at possibly the worst or best political time ever depending on your point of view. Because of her legacy, we are searching to find somebody worthy of stepping into her shoes. Amy Coney Barrett has just been nominated.

I don’t pretend to know even a millionth of what is going on.

I’m told peace talks are happening in the Middle East.

To me, it feel like BLM has created awareness at a level that is unprecedented.

Rioting and looting is happening. It scares me.

And I believe America is headed for great things.

I do not want to go back to New Zealand.

I’m on a Green Card; I’m applying to be a citizen and frankly, I have my fingers crossed.

I believe in America. I believe I have more opportunities here than I have anywhere else in the world.

And I want to stay.



Erin Keam

Owner of The Happy Wardrobe, which helps women identify their unique Style Statement and impact the world via their closets, careers, businesses and life.